Comedian Aries Spears has big career aspirations, but not necessarily the traits to achieve them. During an appearance on Byron Scott’s Fast Break podcast, Spears used a wild Michael Jordan–Dennis Rodman analogy to describe himself.
“I always have Michael Jordan dreams but Dennis Rodman habits,” Spears said. “I want to be Madison Avenue, I want to be McDonald’s, but I like p***y and strippers and alcohol.”
Jordan reached the top of the mountain, which is where Spears would love to be in his field. He doesn’t believe that’s going to happen, but is hoping a Phil Jackson-like figure comes along in Hollywood to give him a shot, the way Rodman got one in 1995.
“My hope is that someone in Hollywood will Phil Jackson me as Rodman,” Spears stated. “Somebody gonna need a rebounder. Somebody gonna need a motherf***** to play defense. ‘Cause I know I ain’t gonna be Michael, that’s Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart’s Michael Jordan.”
Spears hilariously went on to add that if comedians were liquor, then he’d be Hennessy and Hart, Capri-Sun. The point being made was that Hart is likable and not a threat in any way, while Spears speaks his mind even if it makes someone uncomfortable. He believes his mouth has worked against him all these years.
As for the analogy he initially used, Rodman is today recognized as an all-time great, but he wasn’t exactly a man in demand in 1995. He had caused all sorts of problems for the San Antonio Spurs, and the Chicago Bulls‘ trading for him was seen as a big gamble. He could have potentially derailed the Bulls’ hopes of winning a title, as he was accused of doing with the Spurs.
Fortunately for the Bulls, Jackson was the perfect head coach for Rodman. He never tried to control the volatile forward and just managed him extremely well. Rodman was a maverick who lived by his own rules, and Jackson got the best out of him.
Rodman spent just three seasons with the Bulls, and they won the championship in all three of them. He averaged 5.2 points, 15.3 rebounds, 2.8 assists, 0.6 steals, and 0.3 blocks per game as a Bull.
One wonders how NBA history would have changed if Rodman had imploded with the Bulls as well. Spears considers Jordan to be the GOAT, but he might have had a different opinion today if the Bulls hadn’t three-peated from 1996 to 1998.
