Joakim Noah looks back fondly on his time playing in the NBA like most former players, but there is one thing about the league he absolutely doesn’t miss, the drug tests. Noah recently appeared on the All The Smoke podcast, where host Matt Barnes asked him about the NBA’s drug program and he shared just how weird the tests are.
“You just get piss tested all the time and you got a guy just looking at your d*** and like making sure that it’s you who’s pissing,” Noah said. “The d*** watchers… It’s the worst. It doesn’t get worse than that honestly. That’s one thing, I don’t wish that on any man.”
Barnes then wildly claimed that the way the drug testers stared at him gave him the impression they enjoyed watching him. While I obviously can’t speak on their intentions, I’d say they were doing their job well if they were watching closely. We have seen players in many sports try to trick the testers, so they have no choice but to be eagle-eyed during the tests.
They especially had to be careful when it came to Barnes. He failed the drug test twice, first in 2007 when he was with the Golden State Warriors and then in 2014 when he was with the Los Angeles Clippers. Both of those were unsurprisingly for marijuana. He never got a third strike, though, which would have landed him in trouble.
Someone who did land in trouble with the NBA was Noah, but it wasn’t for marijuana. In March 2017 he violated the NBA’s anti-drug policy by testing positive for LGD-4033, a banned substance under the CBA, and was suspended for 20 games. Noah claimed it was in a supplement he took for injuries and he was recovering from one at the time.
Joakim Noah Hailed LeBron James As The Best Player He Played Against
While Noah really didn’t like those drug tests, there was something or rather someone whom he seemed to dislike even more during his time in the NBA, LeBron James. The two beefed for years, but the big man seems to have put all that behind him. Noah gave LeBron his flowers by calling him the greatest player he played against.
“There was no faking. And LeBron [James] was so talented and so good sometimes, I felt like it was… He would start dancing, and it would piss me off. I’m trying to win. It never happened. I’m still processing. We’re competitors, at the end of the day. This is the business of competition.”
“People still talk to me about the Cleveland thing. They think it’s funny but I think there was a lot of hurt. ‘Yeah, you beat us, but f**k you and your whole city’. That’s basically what it was. I’m saying that in the most respectful way.”
“You gotta give the guy his flowers. The guy is an all-time great, the greatest I ever played against. I’m always going to shout out Michael Jordan, but you get to play with your son this year, gotta give Bron his flowers.”
We tend to see hostilities die down when one or both of the players beefing retire and that’s the case here. Noah retired in 2021 with career averages of 8.8 points, 9.0 rebounds, 2.8 assists, 0.8 steals, and 1.3 blocks per game in the NBA. LeBron, meanwhile, is still going strong and there is plenty of gas left in his tank.
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