Jobs NBA Stars Would Have If They Didn’t Play Basketball

Let’s take a playful glimpse into the careers of current NBA stars if basketball was not an option. While we’ve witnessed these athletes dazzle us with their slam dunks and clutch three-pointers, have you ever wondered what alternate professions they might have excelled in if not for their hoops prowess? We’ll step into a world where the court is replaced by unconventional offices, and the roar of the crowd is swapped for the hum of everyday professions. 

From dunking executives to three-point-shooting salesmen, join us as we embark on a delightful journey into the imaginative realms of NBA stars’ potential alternate career paths. As we trade basketball jerseys for business attire and sneakers for a variety of professional shoes, let’s envision a universe where these athletes showcase their skills in different arenas and take the 15 of the most interesting stars in the NBA to do it.

Jordan Poole – Ice Cream Seller

Imagine former Golden State Warriors’ rising star Jordan Poole as the neighborhood’s favorite ice cream seller. Swapping his basketball sneakers for a colorful apron, Jordan’s infectious enthusiasm now serves up scoops of joy, creating a court of sweet treats rather than sinking three-pointers. Jordan dishes out delightful combinations of flavors, turning every ice cream cone into a slam dunk of satisfaction for his customers.

While this lighthearted career is due to Poole’s rather goofy demeanors, it is also down to the fact that the player seems to lack focus on the court at times and many believe he needs a job where he can be a free soul and enjoy the different variety of flavors he can whip up for the people (including attractive women).

Ben Simmons – Brick-Layer

Okay, this one is a joke but it does make sense, considering the build and makeup of Ben Simmons. He is known for his quick hands and stamina, so that would help in the tiring task of bricklaying. Swapping the hardwood for a tool belt, Simmons becomes the “Bricksmith,” turning missed shots into a comedic art form.

With a grin on his face and a knack for humor, Simmons transforms every misfire into a deliberately misplaced masterpiece. Instead of rebounds, he collects the chuckles of fans as he playfully showcases the art of brick-laying, a skill that brings success to businesses in unexpected ways.

Draymond Green – Mixed Martial Artist

In the alternate universe where Draymond Green trades his basketball jersey for MMA gloves, the Golden State Warriors enforcer becomes a force to be reckoned with in the octagon. Renowned for his fiery on-court presence and a knack for getting under opponents’ skin, Draymond channels his intensity into a career as a heavyweight mixed martial artist. Standing at an imposing 6’6″ and weighing in at 230 lbs, he brings his enforcer mentality from the court to the cage, where his physical prowess and strategic mindset make him a formidable contender.

In this playful scenario, Draymond’s loud voice, once a staple on the basketball court, becomes a promotional asset in the world of MMA. Whether it’s engaging in pre-fight banter or hyping up a bout, Draymond’s charismatic and unapologetic demeanor ensures that the octagon is not just a battleground but also a stage for his larger-than-life personality.

Klay Thompson – Boat Captain

Four-time NBA Champion Klay Thompson simply loves his boats and it seems so effortless when he is relaxing in his downtime by operating his vehicles on the water. With a laid-back attitude, Thompson swaps his basketball sneakers for boat shoes and his three-pointers for nautical adventures and becomes the captain of the chill seas.

With his trademark calm demeanor, he guides his vessel through the waves, embodying the essence of “Klaycation” on the open water. In many ways, the “Splash Brother” becomes the “Splash Sailor”, proving that his cool and collected nature can make waves not just on the basketball court but also on the peaceful seas.

Zion Williamson – McDonald’s Employee

Let’s envision Zion Williamson as the jovial face behind the counter at McDonald’s, turning his love for fast food into a delightful profession. Swapping his basketball jersey for a McDonald’s uniform, Zion brings his infectious energy to the drive-thru, welcoming customers with a smile as they order their favorite meals.

With a build that can seemingly handle the calories effortlessly, standing at 6’6″ and 284 lbs, Zion becomes the embodiment of a carefree and content McDonald’s employee. The current basketball phenom embraces the joy of savoring every flavor on the menu, embodying the spirit of someone who can indulge without the constraints of maintaining an NBA physique.

James Harden – Strip Club Owner

Three-time scoring champion James Harden, known for his flashy style and scoring prowess, takes center stage as the owner of a trendy and glamorous strip club. Swapping his basketball sneakers for the refined shoes of a nightclub impresario, Harden brings his unique flair to the nightlife scene. With a penchant for the extravagant, Harden creates a high-energy and stylish establishment that mirrors his on-court swagger.

We all know Harden loves strip clubs, quite possibly more than basketball itself, considering how the past few seasons of his career have gone. James loves fashion that is polarizing, to say the least, and does not mind being flashy. Considering his character, he can certainly find a way to own a strip club and he will get it running on his own terms, whether it is in the city of Houston, Atlanta, or anywhere else.

Kyrie Irving – Professor

Kyrie Irving, the enigmatic point guard, emerges as a distinguished professor with a passion for exploring the depths of subjects close to his heart, such as psychology, religion, human nature, or history. Swapping his basketball jersey for a professorial tweed jacket, Kyrie finds a platform where his fervor for knowledge and strong opinions can flourish without the constraints of being a global star in the NBA.

With a commitment to scholarly discourse, Kyrie immerses himself in the pursuit of a Ph.D., becoming an authority in his chosen field. As a professor, he fearlessly imparts his perspectives and passionately engages with students, fostering critical thinking and spirited discussions. In this whimsical scenario, Kyrie Irving becomes a captivating figure in academia, free to share his unique insights without the repercussions often associated with his vocal presence in the basketball community. Oh, and he might be able to spark debates in his classroom better than any professor in history.

Damian Lillard – Rapper

The best rapping NBA star ever, Damian Lillard, renowned for his clutch performances on the basketball court, steps into the spotlight as the undisputed maestro of the mic, embracing a career as a rapper. Swapping his basketball sneakers for studio headphones, Dame D.O.L.L.A., as he’s widely known, unleashes his lyrical prowess and thought-provoking verses, solidifying his status as the NBA’s premier wordsmith.

With a natural talent that transcends the typical athlete-turned-rapper narrative, Lillard’s flow, delivery, and lyrics become the embodiment of authenticity in the rap game. In this imaginative scenario, Dame seamlessly transitions from dropping three-pointers to dropping beats, captivating audiences with his unparalleled skills and elevating the crossover between sports and music.

Joel Embiid – Nightclub Security

Let’s envision Joel Embiid, the towering and powerful center of the Philadelphia 76ers, as the vigilant and imposing figure overseeing nightclub security. In a career that certainly suits him, Embiid becomes the ultimate guardian of the night scene. Standing at an imposing 7’0″ and weighing 280 lbs, his physical presence alone is enough to deter any potential troublemakers.

In this whimsical scenario, Embiid’s calm demeanor serves as a steady anchor in managing the ebbs and flows of the nightclub environment. While not necessarily the most bookish individual, his ability to read and handle situations with a level-headed approach makes him a natural fit for the role. As the enforcer of the night, Joel Embiid not only ensures the safety of the venue but also becomes an unexpected icon in the nightlife scene, where his towering figure silently commands respect, making him the guardian that nobody dares to challenge.

Luka Doncic – Burger King Employee

In a playful twist of destiny, envision Luka Doncic, the sensational Dallas Mavericks point guard, as a dedicated Burger King employee. There is no doubt Doncic loves filling his belly, perhaps more than he would like to admit, and working in one of the world’s most popular fast-food chains would do him very good in that sense. 

It is truly amazing to see Doncic dominate the current world of the NBA despite not being in tip-top shape, but he follows the mold of other stars in that sense including Nikola Jokic and Larry Bird. Luka might like to eat a little more than those two, and hence, a job at Burger King would make him feel a little more satisfied at work than in any other mundane job. 

Stephen Curry – Foot Locker Salesman

Imagine the three-point maestro Stephen Curry not as a chef but as the charismatic and approachable salesman at Foot Locker. Swapping his basketball court for the sneaker aisle, Curry effortlessly becomes the face of footwear fashion. With a warm and gentle demeanor, he navigates the store, guiding customers through the latest trends and effortlessly rocking the shoes himself.

Known for his swag both on and off the court, Curry brings an authentic charm to the role of a shoe salesman. His likable personality and genuine enthusiasm for sneakers make him the go-to guy for sneaker enthusiasts seeking advice on the latest releases. In this whimsical scenario, Stephen Curry not only continues to be a game-changer in the sports world but also a style influencer in the fashion arena, proving that his winning touch extends beyond the basketball court.

Kevin Durant – Employee At Twitter HQ

Is there any surprise that Kevin Durant, the basketball superstar with a penchant for online banter, would take on the role of an employee at Twitter HQ? Durant embraces the digital realm as a social media enthusiast. Renowned for his unabashed online presence which includes countless burner accounts where he fights with fans, he channels his love for engaging with the people and expressing opinions into a role that places him at the epicenter of the social media universe.

As a Twitter employee, Durant becomes a digital trailblazer for his unfiltered and genuine interactions with the online community. Embracing the platform’s potential for social activism and expression, he transforms his passion for sharing opinions into a dynamic role at the heart of the social media landscape. There would not be a funnier career swap than if Durant became the head employee at Twitter.

Nikola Jokic – Horse Racer

Despite winning the 2023 NBA championship with the Denver Nuggets last season, Nikola Jokic’s heart lies in the quiet stables and on the racetracks, where the thundering hooves of horses replace the roar of the basketball crowd. That is why he seemed more interested in heading back home to Serbia to deal with his horses a little more than non-stop celebrating (although he did that too).

With a dedication that mirrors his commitment on the court, Jokic becomes an obsessed horse racer, channeling his love for these majestic animals into a full-fledged profession. Embracing a simpler and more serene lifestyle, he trades the glitz and glamour of the NBA for the rugged beauty of the racetrack. Quite frankly, considering how easily he makes playing professional basketball look, Jokic would apply that same energy to his horses.

Giannis Antetokounmpo – Construction Worker

Imagine Giannis Antetokounmpo, the Milwaukee Bucks’ powerhouse, as a resilient and hardworking construction worker. Armed with a hard hat, Giannis embraces a hands-on profession that mirrors the determination he displays on the court. Hailing from a humble background, he thrives on the satisfaction of physical labor and the tangible results it produces.

At 6’11” and 242 lbs, Giannis’s towering physique makes him an asset on the construction site. Whether lifting heavy loads or meticulously overseeing projects, he embodies the essence of hard work. In this whimsical scenario, Giannis rises through the ranks, not just as a construction worker but as a symbol of perseverance and dedication, eventually becoming part of management. His journey becomes a testament to the transformative power of hard work, proving that the skills and work ethic honed on the basketball court seamlessly translate into the construction arena.

LeBron James – Wine Salesman

LeBron James might always be destined for success, even if basketball was not an option. He might be the full package as a character, considering he is 6’9” tall, has an imposing build, a powerful voice, and a unique charisma. He also seems to work hard in areas he finds most important, and one of those includes his love for wine. Could LeBron Raymone James be a successful wine salesman? Absolutely.

James would likely sell wine for decades, hardly missing a day on the job because of the results he might miss out on. He has the charisma to convince people about what he is saying, even if he might not know what he is talking about at the start of his career. The King would become the leader in sales, and as his knowledge of fine wines grew, could become an icon in his community in that sense. After all, how many 6’9”, 250-lb wine salesmen do we see daily?