Udonis Haslem has always been known for his grit and toughness on the court, but his journey to the NBA had its fair share of wild moments, including a stint in a French jail. On the Out The Mud Podcast, the Miami Heat legend shared a hilarious yet eye-opening story about getting arrested in France before practice while playing for Chalon-Sur-Saône early in his career in 2002.
“Man, I went to jail over there. Motherf***er came and took me to jail in practice. Locked me up, man. I’m driving to practice, man. I got a stick shift. Now, I learned how to drive it, but I ain’t learned how to drive this motherf***er. So I hit somebody’s car—boom.”
“So I get out the car, he yelling at me, I’m yelling at him. I can see the gym right here, not that far away. So I say, ‘S**t, I got 15 minutes to get to practice. They know where to find me. The team called, got the name on it.'”
“I’m thinking they just gonna come give me a ticket. The motherf***er came and took my a** to jail in France. I spent 10 hours in jail in France.”
“Boy, you don’t wanna go to jail in France. Listen, that s**t ain’t no joke. They got the hole on the floor. I walked in, motherf***ers squatting—he’s squatting, doing squats. He’s shi**ing in the corner.”
“It’s a hole. You squat down and you s**t right there. So you think I s**t bad with the metal toilets? They got a hole in the ground.”
“So I did ten hours. I did like eight or ten hours. My auntie came and got me, and I got out. That blew over, but it was all a learning experience, dog. It was all a learning experience.”
“I had never been around snow before. I cracked my goddamn windshield because I thought you just throw hot water on it and it’ll melt, and that shit said, ‘Pop pop pop.’ The whole goddamn windshield started cracking. I said, ‘God damn, man, I can’t get a break.'”
“I ain’t never been in snow, dog. Y’all been in snow? I ain’t never been in it. I thought this s**t was gonna melt the ice off my windshield. Cracked the whole motherf***ing windshield—bow, bow, bow. God damn, man. This ain’t for me.”
Haslem recalled that he was driving to practice in a stick-shift car, which he had learned to operate but wasn’t entirely comfortable with yet. Unfortunately, that inexperience led to an accident when he hit another car. Realizing that practice was just minutes away, he figured that his team knew where to find him and that the police would simply write him a ticket and send him on his way.
Instead, things took a shocking turn when French authorities decided to arrest him on the spot. For someone who had never been in such a situation before, the experience was nothing short of horrifying. Haslem ended up spending around eight to ten hours locked up before his aunt came to bail him out. While the incident eventually blew over, it became just another part of the wild learning experience he had in France.
His misadventures didn’t stop there. Haslem admitted that he had never experienced snow before moving overseas and had no idea how to deal with icy conditions. One morning, when he found his windshield covered in ice, he made the mistake of throwing hot water on it, expecting it to melt away the frost. Instead, the drastic temperature change caused the windshield to crack instantly.
Playing in France was a humbling experience for Haslem. After going undrafted in 2002, he signed with Chalon-Sur-Saône, arriving in the country at nearly 300 pounds. Determined to prove himself, he lost 50 pounds in just eight months, averaging 16.1 points and 9.4 rebounds per game.
His hard work eventually paid off when he earned a spot on the Miami Heat in 2003, beginning a 20-year NBA career that saw him win three championships and become one of the most respected enforcers in league history.
Despite his struggles adjusting to life in France, Haslem now looks back on those moments with laughter, recognizing them as key parts of his journey to the NBA. Whether it was surviving jail, dealing with freezing temperatures, or learning to drive a stick shift, it all helped shape the mentality that made him a Heat legend.
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