Kendrick Perkins has told plenty of rookie stories over the years, but this one about Gary Payton might be the most brutal and the funniest at the same time. While appearing on the All The Smoke podcast, Perkins shared a late-night lesson in NBA hierarchy that he learned the hard way during his early days with the Boston Celtics.
“My second year is when we got GP, Gary Payton. And it was so crazy because I was like, hell yeah, man, I’m finally done with these fucking rookie duties. I ain’t got to do this s**t no more.”
“And he was like, oh no, you still the rook. You a rook until you play your first NBA game. And I was like, I didn’t know that. And he was like, nah, you’re mine.”
“So the craziest thing he done, we land in Milwaukee. It’s like two o’clock in the morning. We just got through playing, and I believe maybe it was in Chicago or one of them cities. And GP was like, hey, ugly. He called everybody ugly, but he called me that.”
“Hey, ugly. I’m like, man, what’s up, man? Man, I need a bottle of Patron. Now, I’m 19, so I’m like, man, where the f**k I’m gonna get a bottle of Patron at two o’clock in the morning, right? But he dead serious.”
“So I’m like, I go to the club, found a club in Milwaukee, and they’re giving me problems because it’s 21 to get in, right? So I’m 19. So now I gotta pay the bouncer like $500 to let me in. Then I gotta ask him, now I’m on my rookie deal, so everything matter to me at this point.”
“I’m counting all my per diem and everything. So I’m like, hey, man, hey bro, where the on at, bro? I’m Kendrick Perkins. I play for the Celtics, I’m here. Gary Payton sent me. I gotta get a bottle of Patron. So you know the tax coming with that, right?”
“So he like, look, I give you the bottle of Patron, man, and everything for $800. So I’m like, $800? So I’m like, damn. But I gotta get it. So I get the bottle of Patron.”
“First of all, I’m getting in the taxi outside the club. The club popping, I’m getting in the taxi. That’s the first embarrassing moment, okay? With the bottle of Patron. So I get back to the hotel.”
“I go knock on his door. He opens the door and tell me, appreciate you, ugly, and close it. No reimbursement, no tipping, no none of that shit, bro. I was so hot and he still haven’t gave me my money or a tip for that shit.”
Payton only spent one season with the Celtics in 2004, but stories like this show how much of an impression he left. For Perkins, it was an expensive lesson. For fans, it is a reminder that behind the highlights and championships, the league has always run on unwritten rules, power dynamics, and moments that sound too wild to be made up.
