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Reading: Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: “I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes”
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Home > NBA News & Analysis > Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: “I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes”

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: “I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes”

Dirk Nowitzki has had some hilarious tweets over the years, as the former champion has to be one of the funniest former players around.

Ishaan Bhattacharya
Jun 20, 2023
4 Min Read
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Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Dirk Nowitzki is one of the gentlest giants the NBA has ever seen. He came as a new-age seven-footer, not looking to dominate just the post but be able to score from any spot on the floor. His offense laid the groundwork for many of the sweet-shooting bigs we have seen emerge in the league since.

The 2011 Finals MVP was a terror on the court, but he is also absolutely hilarious on Twitter. He tweets like a comedian, maybe a post-retirement career he could explore if he still wasn’t working as a special advisor on his career-long franchise, the Dallas Mavericks.

After getting a haircut, Dirk tweeted a selfie and compared himself to talk show host Ellen DeGeneres.

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: "I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes"

Nowitzki retired in 2019 and would tweet about having to suck in his belly to avoid looking fat a month into the end of his 21-year-long NBA career.

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: "I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes"

Dirk saw age hamper his mobility around the court, with him playing fewer minutes later into his career due to it. During an offseason drug test before his final season, Nowitzki felt the need to remind the tester that he doesn’t play like an athlete on steroids.

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: "I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes"

He once mocked commentator Tony Romo before an appearance at a game.

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: "I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes"

Nowitzki got his bag stolen and his first instinct was to joke about his robber possibly not fitting into his extremely large clothes. 

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: "I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes"

He gladly shared the picture of a painted potato and thanked the fan who sent him it.

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: "I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes"

He jokingly compared his slow foot speed to NFL star Peyton Manning.

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: "I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes"

After retirement, Nowitzki linked up with a former teammate Deron Williams to get the guard’s help in getting his minivan out of being stuck in the mud.

Dirk Nowitzki Had The Funniest Tweets Of All-Time: "I Hope The Guy That Stole My Bag Is 7 Feet So He Can At Least Rock My Sweet Clothes"

Nowitzki enjoyed an incredible career, retiring as the sixth all-time leader in points scored and as one of the greatest players of all time. He averaged 20.7 points, 7.5 rebounds, and 2.4 assists over his career and was a 14-time All-Star, 12-time All-NBA, a one-time MVP, and one-time Finals MVP.

His crown of being the greatest European player in NBA history is under attack from Nikola Jokic and Giannis Antetokounmpo, but the ever-humble Dirk wouldn’t mind passing it on to the current generation stars making European basketball proud.


Nowitzki Staying In Touch With Basketball

Even though Nowitzki isn’t a very visible figure in the world of basketball anymore, he continues living in Dallas and working as a special advisor with the Mavericks. The franchise unveiled a gorgeous statue in Nowitzki’s honor last season and will hope to replicate his championship success with new European superstar, Luka Doncic.

The Mavericks are likely going to re-sign Kyrie Irving and build around him and Doncic this summer to return to contention after finishing 11th in the West last season. Nowitzki is still around the franchise, so he’s bound to give the current crop of players some advice to bounce back from their failure, just as he kept bouncing back until he won an incredible championship in 2011.

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ByIshaan Bhattacharya
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Ishaan Bhattacharya is a content manager for Fadeaway World from New Delhi, India. With his expertise in NBA content creation, Ishaan brings a wealth of experience to his role, contributing to the site's authority and reach within the basketball community. Over the last year, Ishaan has interviewed Ray Allen and Mark Tatum, while also covering the 2023 NBA Abu Dhabi Games which saw the Dallas Mavericks take on the Minnesota Timberwolves.Since joining Fadeaway World in March 2022, Ishaan Bhattacharya has become known for his unique perspective on the NBA. He consistently delivers this insight through his daily news coverage and detailed opinion pieces on the most significant topics in the league.Before his tenure at Fadeaway World, Ishaan worked in corporate communications, where he serviced prominent sports brands, including NBA India, Sports18, Amazon Prime Sports, and Royal Challengers Bangalore. This experience in strategic communications for leading sports entities has enhanced his ability to craft impactful narratives and connect with a global audience.A true MFFLer (Mavs Fan for Life, for the uninitiated), Ishaan is a massive fan of the Dallas Mavericks. When he is not upset about Jalen Brunson walking in free agency, you can see Ishaan as an avid gamer and content creator. His passion for basketball extends beyond the Mavericks, as evidenced by his thoughtfully curated NBA Mount Rushmore, featuring LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Bill Russell—each representing distinct eras and bringing their unique qualities to the game.Featured On: ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Bleacher Report, Yahoo Sports, NBA, Fox Sports, The Spun
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